Friday, June 26, 2009

My Brush with Death / Rental Car

So, a few weeks ago I almost had the best death ever. I have accomplished everything in life I ever dreamed. Saw the Red Sox beat the Yankees, Saw the Celtics beat the Lakers, played CBGB's twice, and even got to out with my high school crush (since broken up, but I can still get it off my checklist.) According to all counts, I've lived a full life by the age of 25. By no means do I want to die, but of ways to go down, this is way up there...

A few weeks ago, I had a hard days work, the kind of day where I was working like a dog. After this long day (noon-7:00pm), I decided I go for a nice slice of pizza from the best pizza place on Blackstone St, Haymarket Pizza. The route I took would bring me by down Causeway St, a four lane street outside the TD Banknorth Garden.
Here's the Scene:

(click to enlarge please)
Legend:
Ferrari- Jimmy (that's me) Driving an SUV
Gas Truck- Gas Truck to my right, double parked
Military Tank - Dodge Caravan that cut on the yellow lines
Hummer - Illegally parked Honda (Hondo) civic

So, there I am, thinking about a nice $1.25 slice of Haymarket Pizza, driving by the Garden, when some son of a gun cuts OVER the double yellow lines. I act quickly...but unfortunately, I swerved right into the side of a gas truck. This could have gone one of two ways. I could have either blown up in a blaze of glory outside of the site that no less than one year after the 17 Time World Championship Boston Celtics destroyed the LA Fakers ...OR I could be $800 in debt for getting into an accident. I guess I'll take the $800 debt, but what could have been... Would this have happened if they didn't tear down the Elevated Green Line? Maybe...but who really knows?

With every good car accident comes a mediocre rental car. My insurance company ( Safety Insurance ) told me they would by no more than $29.99 a day for a rental car at Enterprise.

Enter the Kia Rondo..




aka The Point Guard.






Being a Boston Celtics (17X World Champions) season ticket holder, I took roughly 26 seconds to start making jo
kes about the car and Celtics' point guard Rajon Rondo.
Jokes like:

"Hey Mike, I'm bring the ball up 93 North, The lock can't defend me" to which he added "Rondo's driving the lane." I had big plans for this car.... For someone as ironic as myself, this car was a dream. Soon all the seats were covered in Celtics point guard jerseys.



<----Here's the drivers side passenger seats with a Dennis Johnson Jersey



My Master Plan:
Find 4 skilled "ballers" to take on a local team at Harlem, NY's Rucker Park.

My Master Game Plan:

-I play point guard, driving the Rondo up the court and passing the ball out the window.
-Nothing but bounce passed, lay ups, and 3 point field goals
-We all wear Larry Bird and Bill Russell jerseys and are from inside route 128 (Bird for White Kids, Russell for Black kids)
-Destroy Rucker Park kids in a game to 3
-get the hell out of there

2 comments:

  1. You need one XXXL Rondo jersey for the Kia.

    ReplyDelete
  2. My personal best when I was sure I was ODing on cocaine in a filthy room in a filthy punkhouse in Savannah, GA whilst powerchugging Jameson.

    ReplyDelete