Monday, September 20, 2010

REVIEW OF MBTA "FRONTLINE" VHS TAPE


PART 1.

So a few weeks ago , this mysterious package showed up at my house delivered by a mysterious person. Actually the mysterious person that delivered the package was just a mailman but I don't know anything about him so I guess he is mysterious in his own sort of mail man way. Enough about him though, this package contained a VHS tape. A Maxwell VHS tape to be more specific entitled "MBTA Frontline 1990." I have no idea*why this thing showed up at my house randomly but here is my review of this thing.

First off, my review simply cannot do the audio of this VHS justice. Here are the two hosts of the VHS. The womans voice sounds about as appetizing as a mustard sandwich on Wonder Bread. Or a Pepto Bismol popsicle. Her voice sounds like she sucked a muffler off during the Blizzard of 78 while skid hopping. And the guy? Well his voice literally sounds like one of those computer generated voices if there was an option to have an East Chelsea. MA accent. So they do the intro for a while, but then it cuts to this silly goose. Some guy fishing on the Public Garden bridge. Hope you don't catch one of those Swan boats! This guy is a wacky as they come. Also as you can tell from the picture, he is clearly anticipating Hurricane Bob with that yellow rain coat. I don't want to spoil anything , but he does catch a paper mache fish!

so the video goes on for a while about how T passes save you money and all that stuff, but then look who makes an appearance.... Yep! thats him! McGruff the Mother Fucking Crime Dog testing out the MBTA Police Motorcycle. Soo cool. How cool would it be if all the MBTA cops dressed as McGruff? Like all the time. Imagine getting a citation for fare evasion from McGruff? Imagine those loud youths at Downtown Crossing around 3:00PM getting fucked up by McGruff? Imagine if he turned out to be a dirty cop?

*In all actuality I know who mailed me this gem. Part 2 tomorrow..